


When It Hurts

by SuicideToro



Series: LaviYuu Weekend 2019 [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Cheating, M/M, Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Sex, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 23:07:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuicideToro/pseuds/SuicideToro
Summary: Kanda has a drunken fling with a stranger at a party and has to eat regretti spaghetti the next day.My late submission forLaviyuu Weekend 2019!------------------------------------------------------------------------Prompt: Day 1 (Friday, November 8th): Lost | Longing, Separation, Grief, Hurt, Regret
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Lavi
Series: LaviYuu Weekend 2019 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541437
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	When It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> ((I can't believe I wrote that stupid summary with my own two hands skjhdfksjhs))
> 
> Hello everyone~! Er, it's been a really long time since I've written anything Laviyuu, or any fanfic at all for that matter~ However, I had some ideas boiling in the back of my head, and one of them blossomed into, er, this~ The original story didn't really fit the prompts for Laviyuu Weekend, but I will (somewhat) make it fit!! LOL
> 
> Trigger Warnings: This fanfic mentions homosexual acts, a mentally and physically abusive relationship, and cheating/disloyalty in that relationship. If you are uncomfortable with these themes, please be careful if you still decide to read this! Stay safe! >.<

The whole mess begins, as most messy things in life oft do, at the dizzy edge of fresh adulthood. Namely, on the peak of drunkenness at a college frat party . 

It’s twenty minutes past one in the morning, and the DJ barely yawns before he yanks the crowd into another dirty, bass-through-the-floor number. The dancing mass of young bodies throbs to the beat, pulsing and twisting and gyrating, and only the most wet-blanket of the youngsters are showing signs of slowing down for the night. Someone very drunk or very stupid sprays fruit punch from an air freshener bottle into the air, and the dancers fling their hair carelessly like it was just water, like they wouldn’t have to deal with hangovers and sticky scalps tomorrow-noon.

In the midst of this chaos, Kanda Yuu finds himself half-drunk in a half-open closet, with the fly of his pants half-down, making out half-heartedly with a half-stranger whom he had met a mere half-hour ago. 

His unfocused gaze is on the sea of moving people outside, and he sees three blonde girls in silver platform boots, looking like identical triplets dancing in complete synchronization side by side. He squints, and they sort of meld into one… and a half... blonde girls in platform boots that are doing a weird colour thing. _ Blink _, and no, the boots are red, thigh high, and now four identical girls in eight red thigh high boots are doing some serious twerking, and….

Okay, so maybe he isn’t just half-drunk.

Kanda’s hazy attention drifts back to himself when the redhead whose mouth he has been ravishing pulls back and kisses down the front of his unbuttoned shirt, stopping to pay homage to his collarbones, nipples, ribs, bellybutton, and finally unzipping his pants all the way down with teeth. Breathing heavily with anticipation, Kanda reaches down and grabs a handful of red hair, yanking it back roughly to tilt the stranger’s face up. In his drunken state, Kanda has to will himself to focus on the face… it’s a nice face… From what he could see in the dim hallway light, the guy has green eyes… eye… one green, green eye, pupil blown wide with lust, flushed freckled cheeks, and kiss-swollen lips pulled up into a devilish smile that is as sinful as the way he’s nuzzling Kanda’s erection through his straining boxers.

Someone is outside the closet, looking in at them, but Kanda’s lost in the liquor sloshing in his belly and the hot feel of Redhead’s mouth now wrapped snugly around his cock. It's good because he_ wants_ to be lost, wants to be too far gone to care who is watching. His fingernails scratch lightly around Redhead’s ears and tug at hoop earrings he hadn’t noticed before as he thrusts into the welcoming wet heat. Redhead moans lewdly, and the vibrations from his mouth run up Kanda’s groin, making him groan and arch his back greedily for more. 

The door to their hidey-hole is thrown wide open, and the sudden assault of light and music causes a small earthquake in Kanda’s brain. He curses vehemently at whoever’s trying to drag him out of his oblivious high, his insults becoming increasingly colourful when the hot suction around his dick disappears and hands physically drags him out, pants wide open and all.

Somehow, somehow, Kanda’s on a bed and Redhead is dumped on top of him. It’s mercifully dark and the brain-murdering music is muffled by the door closing. Redhead crawls up his body and they pick up right where they left off, with Redhead fondling his wet cock and Kanda dipping his hand down the back of the other man’s jeans to grab a handful of supple ass.

One lucid moment, they’re grinding excitedly together, moaning low and making out filthily, and the next, Kanda’s on top and his jeans are loose around his thighs as he slams into Redhead, panting and reveling in the addictive friction around his cock. Redhead writhes and mews and moves against Kanda in a perfect rhythm. It’s good sex, fucking great sex, a fucking great fucking, and Kanda is not a bit ashamed to admit that he blows his first load in less than fifteen minutes and is ready for Round Two almost instantly afterwards. It’s as hard and fast as Round One, but halfway through, Redhead flips them over and rides Kanda like a saddle-born cowboy in a rodeo show. Kanda’s fingernails leave angry crescents on the redhead’s hips, and his helpless orgasm hits him as hard as a bus, yanking the world from under him and throwing him into sated unconsciousness.

* * *

When Kanda comes to, he’s in god-knows-whose room in he-forgot-whose house, and oh, his dick is still inside what’s-his-face’s ass. He disengages himself from the sleeping redhead sprawled over him and pulls out, grimacing at the grossness of dried sweat and other fluids on his skin. He does up his jeans and, spying a bathroom nearby, wobbles over to puke out the regrettable decisions of yesternight. His head throbs like it’s still attending the party. He staggers to the sink and rinses his mouth out. In the mirror, he catches sight of himself. His black hair is an ungodly mess, and there is a very obvious hickey on his right collarbone.

Suddenly dizzy, he has to sit on the edge of the bathtub, mindful of the wasted dude passed out in it. 

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. He’d fucked up… 

God, _ Alma _. A sharp stab of guilt and pain erupts in the pit of Kanda’s stomach. He almost throws up again. Instead, he curls up against himself and rocks back and forth for a while, trying to will away the feeling of wanting to die in a deep hole in the ground.

By the time he calms down enough to clean himself up and come back to the bedroom, Redhead is awake, lying fully naked atop the dirty sheets. The afternoon sun filters in through a window and casts a golden glow over the man, highlighting his flaming hair, freckled shoulders, lithe body, and_ hello, very _nice buttcheeks. He gives Kanda an expectant look, and the Japanese averts his eyes quickly. 

“Uh, sorry about last night, I was really fucking wasted,” Kanda says awkwardly as he searches through the disgusting sheets. He finds his beer-stained shirt and pulls it on quickly. “See you around and all that, I guess.”

Redhead reaches out with something in his hand. “Here, take this.”

Kanda stares at the proffered card with visible confusion and reluctantly takes it. Printed on the small white card is an embossed phone number and a name, Lovely. 

“I had serious fun last night, and our bodies are super compatible. I’m usually deadset on not giving discounts, but for someone as hot as you, I’ll make you an exception if you decide to call for my services,” says Lovely with a sly grin.

Kanda gives him a long and icy glare. “I’m taken. Won’t be needing this.” He almost drops the card onto the bed, but Lovely reaches out and grasps his hand with surprising gentleness.

“It’s not just for sex,” the redhead says quietly. His expression of seductiveness is falling away, replaced by one that makes Kanda instantly uncomfortable. “If you just need someone to talk to about stuff, like problems and whatnot… just call me.”

Hot anger flushes through Kanda’s veins, and he shrugs the other man’s grip off roughly. “What the-- Who the fuck do you think you are?” he snarls furiously. “What gives you the right to assume I need — If I wanted some advice in life, the last person I would think to ask is a random whore I drunk-fucked for a night, alright?”

Instead of taking offence, Lovely looks away and gets up. “Just putting it out there, that’s all. Do what you will with my offer.” He heads towards the bathroom with a blanket wrapped around his naked body. 

Still flushed with fury, Kanda flips the redhead off behind his back and throws the namecard onto the ground. Fuck that. He storms out of the room and slams the door, hard. Every inch of space in the house is littered with bodies of hungover college students in various states of undress, and Kanda cusses aloud as he nearly trips twice before he makes it out of the front door. His old Honda is parked under a tree half a block away, and other than some bird blessing it with shit on the windshield, it looks untouched. Kanda drives groggily to a 7-Eleven for a bottle of iced water and downs it in several gulps. For twenty minutes, he sits on the bench outside the convenience store, staring at the sky that is starting to darken with the chance of rain. Eventually, he forces himself to man up. 

He drives home as slowly as he can.

* * *

Kanda could tell right after he opens the front door.

There is a lone cigarette, still smoldering, sitting on a neat pile of ashes in a crystal ashtray on their living room table. 

His boyfriend of six years doesn’t even look up from his magazine at the kitchen counter. 

“Where were you all night, Yuu?”

Alma might as well have been asking casually about the weather, or the state of the avocados they planted in their garden. Mechanically, Kanda turns to put away his jacket. 

“... Went to a party thrown by Daisya. Accidentally drank too much and passed out before I knew it. Woke up this morning on the sofa and bailed. Nothing else happened.”

He feels Alma’s gaze rake across his back, over the unkempt hair, the untucked shirt, the exposed lovebite on his neck. 

“I see.”

Kanda has to grit his teeth to keep from screaming. 

“Since when did you start to smoking?”

A slight stiffening of Alma’s back, but no further reaction.

“...... I didn’t.”

Nonchalant, so nonchalant.

Kanda closes his eyes tiredly. “Going to sleep.” He walks calmly to their bedroom, locks the door with an announcing clack, and flops onto the bed. After a few moments, he curls onto his side and scrubs his hands across his eyes. Pretends to himself that it was the cigarette smoke that got into his eyes and made them burn. 

Six years, and it all boils down to this.

'_I see'_.

His chest aches so much that he could die.

Worn out, desperate for an outlet, Kanda lies on his back and stares at the ceiling. His mind flits back to Lovely’s face. He had mistaken that last look the redhead gave him for pity, had truly hated him for it, but hadn't it also been a look of deep understanding?

For the first time since that morning, he maybe did regret throwing that namecard away.

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly wonder if anyone, upon reading that summary, had thought this would be a rom com xDD 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this~ The two latter parts are probably going to be uploaded within two weeks, but no promises... Here's a special shoutout to aqd on tumblr for hosting Laviyuu Weekend (thanks Daph, you're the best!), and thanks to you guys for reading this~ 
> 
> P.S: I do still think a lot about my other unfinished works and series, especially Guardian. Since the beginning of this year, I really had lost all of my motivation to write, and even drawing was becoming difficult for me... Thankfully I've broken past that a bit and now I'm creatively more active again, so there's the possibility that I can successfully finish some of those unfinished babies~~~ To everyone who has read my stuff and are waiting for continuations, thank you so much, and I hope I can one day surprise y'all with an update soon ><  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
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